Abbey

i'm not sure, after today, that i even have the energy to write this post.

yes, this entire post is about our dog. 

but it needs to be written while it's still so raw...

we said goodbye to our first baby today.

yes, she was our four-legged baby; but she was our baby nonetheless.

she was so sick. the tumors had grown to the point where they were putting pressure on her bones.

she had trouble walking. trouble standing up sometimes. all she wanted to do was lie on a cold floor. and it all went down hill in less than 24 hours.

i knew this yesterday, but selfishly, i could not take her to the vet yet.

but when i looked in her eyes, she seemed to just beg me to make it better.

and i had to.

that was the agreement. we'd keep her until she was in pain.

and she was in pain.

so we'd have to make that tough decision and let her go.

whether we were ready or not.

we got Abbey (Abigail Adams Wamsted to be exact) when she was a mere 5 weeks old.

i have an entire album of her puppy pictures...somewhere in our house.

we spoiled her. we learned from her. she taught us how important boundaries are for children, even though she was just a dog.

she loved us. she forgave us. she cuddled with us. she woke us up in the middle of the night.

she had a funny bark. she loved to jump. she'd rather greet a person than a dog any day, but she loved Austen, Sydney, Mollie, Bama Girl, Snook, Ginger, Sophie, Charlotte and most any dog she met.

and then she had a, well, we'll call it a unique relationship with our cat Fuzz. 

she tore up more diapers, more pacies, and more toys than i'd care to admit. she ate food off the counter (a whole piece of grilled organic chicken one time. a pork chop another. and my cookie dough just this past Monday) no matter how far back we pushed it. she loved cheerios and goldfish, green beans and pumpkin, and cheese. basically anything other than lettuce, she'd eat!

she was the best vacuum cleaner anyone could every hope to acquire, especially under (in front of/behind/on top of) a highchair.

but more than anything she loved us unconditionally, as our pets do. she was always there to greet me when I came home, no matter how exhausted i was. she could make your arm fly up in the arm with the forceful nudge of her nose in an attempt to get you to pet her. she loved to "hold hands" and sit on her hind legs like a "circus dog" just to get her head scratched. she had the softest fir that made her still feel like a puppy, especially on her head. the hair on her ears crinkled when they got wet. more than once she managed to sneak in the shower or bathtub. and she loved to paw at water. she loved to chew sticks and sit outside. she loved to be near us.

she knew how to sit, down, stay, wait, come, and watch...when she wanted to.

but what i think i loved most about our Abbey girl is how she loved our girls. it was evident as i looked back through pictures how much she loved Addie. i just wish i had more of her with the twins.

she was a good pillow to lay your head on

she was patient (usually) and kind and understanding and loving...

...and impossible to catch if she got out.

i loved how she smiled when she opened her mouth. always, especially with her eyes.

(thank you DiAnna for this beautiful picture!)

but she still had those golden eyes that could make you feel awful even if you hadn't done anything!

my regrets? that the twins won't remember her. that i have to explain it, somehow, to addie that she's not coming home. that i didnt walk her more. scratch her head more. play with her more. or spoil her more.

but i cant change any of that.

my peace obviously doesn't come from this earth, it comes from the Lord.

and He's given me peace knowing that we loved her. we trained her. we spent lots of time with her. we let her get away with a few too many things. and we met her needs.

even her need to move on and leave us.

there's a lot of disbelief in this video. disbelief that Addie was ever that small. disbelief that Abbey really isn't coming home. but i love watching her make Addie laugh (and Audrey Kate sounds just like her now!) and to see how much Anne Perry looks like her!



there were too many wonderful pictures of our Abbey girl to post; so yes, I made a slideshow of our dog!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

thank you sweet Abbey for loving us, for keeping us around, and for (hopefully) teaching us to be (at least slightly) better parents! we love you!