Baby Bedding Part 2

ok. ya'll are just awesome! i think we had something like 42 votes on our little bedding survey! now I know how to get advice from ya'll. don't ask for comments...just do a survey! ;)

but seriously! thank you so much for your feedback!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I'm sure we'll all have Christmas posts to come (mine a little later than others!). Ours won't be up before the new year, but they'll be up soon after!

I did want to let you know what we decided on bedding. As much as I wanted to make the twins bedding, I just knew we couldn't. And we were looking at spending a small fortune with the fabric we'd chosen. As much as I wanted to just buy it, I just couldnt seem to find the right thing either.

So I got on etsy.com. I'm sure most of you are familiar with that site...all things handmade. The sellers are typically amazing, love what they do, and love to work with their buyers. I found some beautiful custom made bedding sets for around three times what I was willing to (or could) pay.

Until I finally found the greatest fabric with a seller who was reasonable:

And after much deliberation and many emails to my friends Rachel and Mandy, mother-in-law, and mom, we finally came up with a plan!

The girl's crib bumpers will be made from the fabric above. It will be backed in a light pink snuggle fabric to soften things a bit.

We'd plan to also use the fabric below for the 2nd bumper pads, but it has a blueish background, so I opted to stick with the one above for the bumpers. We'll use this one for a changing table cover my mom can make.

And then the crib skirt: instead of using this green stripe fabric as the entire crib skirt, the majority of the skirt will be white with a small 3-4 inch band at the bottom in the coordinating fabric below. This was a great suggestion from my friend Rachel! I think it will also soften things up a bit.

We were also able to order extra fabric. Paul's mom made Addie a beautiful coordinating crib quilt for her bedding, and she's planning to do one for each of the girls! What a special treasure for each of them to have forever! My mom and I plan to use some of the fabric for valences and pillows here and there too.

So that its. Order placed before Christmas! I'm so excited and can't wait to show you the finished product when it arrives.

Now to get the room ready: clean up the Christmas wrapping (done), pack away the books (almost done), reorganize clothes (working on it now), put together the 2nd crib, paint Addie's dresser, take apart Addie's bed, put up her new bed, teach her to sleep in a big girl bed, reassemble Addie's crib in the twin's room, move the changing table and Addie's old dresser, and decorate the twin's room.

Then we'll be all ready for them to arrive...

(Christmas posts and pictures emailed to family to come...I promise!)

Flashback

You might remember this picture of Addie and Abbey from last year. Notice the dress.

Addie wore this dress to the zoo this year (more pictures to come)...as a shirt that happened to almost be too short!

Amazing what a year can do!

Merry Christmas!

...from our family to yours!

(photo and card courtesy of Allison Lewis Photography, Birmingham, Alabama)

Baby Bedding

Originally, my mom and I planned to make the twins bedding for their room. However, after starting curtains (only curtains) for Addie's room, we've decided to just go ahead and buy something. Making two of everything was going to prove to not only be time consuming but overwhelming!

The fabrics that I loved for the girl's room had bold, bright colors. Pinks. Greens. Blues. Bold. I chose bold colors because of what these girls have already been through. They are bold, brave, and fighters. That was my logic at least.

After searching through no less than 40 sites and hundreds of beddings, I came to a very difficult conclusion. Part of my pregnancy symptoms include (in addition to double sneezing throughout the day, wanting to eat like I'm eating for way more than 3, and being very forgetful) being very indecisive! Very indecisive!

My personality is way more "geometric" than flowery (i'm not sure what that says about me), but I liked the flowers in a few of these too.

Lime Green/Hot Pink Flowers
(i love the colors)

Soft Pink Blossom
(sweet but sophisticated)

Lavender/Lime Green
(not pink! and i liked the possibilities of what could be added to this)

Multicolor Geo Circles
(fun! bright but not overboard)

Lime Green/Hot Pink Damask
(again, love the bold colors)

So please help. Just go with your gut and let me know what you like!!! Feel free to leave a comment and let me know why you like (or dislike) what you like (or dislike)! I'm not personally attached to any of them!

Online Surveys & Market Research

Simply Amazing

We went for an 18 week ultrasound today.

Two words: Simply Amazing!

And if you haven't heard already, we confirmed that we're having...

two

sweet

perfect in every way

healthy

baby

GIRLS!

Yes, we are beyond Thrilled. Amazed. Thankful. Joyful. Relieved. Grateful. Excited. Blessed.

No, we haven't figured out how we'll pay for cars or college or weddings, how we'll handle three hormonal girls within two years of one another, or when they'll be allowed to date. Thankfully that is years down the road.

I'm a little more concerned with getting the nursery ready, finishing Addie's big girl room, transitioning her into a big girl bed, potty training, how to carry two infants while supporting their heads in addition to carrying a toddler (bc it will happen!), nursing twins, and how to grocery shop with 2 infants and a toddler. Really. All far more pressing than weddings! :)

Yes, we have names picked out.

But no, we're not sharing until they are born. We'll get enough unsolicited advice about having three girls (we already have!). So I figured that was one less thing we'd (I'd) have to worry about. Once they are born and named, people tend not to be as likely to share thoughts on things that won't be changed!

And the biggest question we're getting: are we disappointed in anyway that we're not having a boy. Absolutely positively not! Our number one prayer for these babies has and continues to be for them to be born healthy and full term! We would not trade having three girls for anything!

So without further ramblings from me...meet our confirmed baby girls:

Baby Girl A

Sweet little hand waving to us!

And I think she's already learned to pout!


Baby Girl B

Sweet little foot!

And I may regret posting this one later. I'm not big on naked baby bottoms in pictures, but there is certainly nothing cuter! When the ultrasound tech discovered this, I could not not share it. Baby B had rolled herself over and stuck her sweet little bottom straight up in the air. Could not resist it! That's her spine along the top and head to the left.


We are absolutely amazed at God's goodness. He continues to provide for and care for our family in so many ways. Without a doubt, we give Him all glory and praise for his provisions for and for the health of these babies!

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. Ps 136:26

I [Heart] Faces: Honorable Mention!

I have entered the I ♥ Faces contest many times and never dreamed this very much beginner/amateur could ever hope to place in the top 10. But check out what I woke up to this rainy Saturday morning!

(click image)

And please make sure to check out this post that tells you how you can help some precious children all the way around the world!

Check It Out: Pearl Ministries

Since today was his first official day on the new job, I feel like I can blog about it. No, I'm not talking about Paul! Our friend's the Lewis' have been carefully listening to God's will for their lives; and they have taken a huge step of faith: Josh has gone on staff full time with Pearl Ministries.

Did you know there are over 147 million orphans worldwide? The main aspect of Pearl Ministries is an orphanage in Uganda called Ranch on Jesus. But I'm not going to waste your time telling you about something Allison knows WAY more about that I do!

So PLEASE head over to Josh and Allison's blog and read about this amazing opportunity that YOU have to help a child literally all the way around the world!

Pearl Ministries is also selling beautiful handmade ornaments at Ornaments4Orphans that benefit these precious children of God. Please make sure to check it out!

{almost} Wordless Wednesday

A little elf "helped" me put lights on the Christmas tree last week. But lights seemed to end up in the strangest of places...

And this was the natural progression of the pictures, honestly.

I ♥ Faces: {Sweet Dreams}

We are so thankful to be sleeping again around here! The I ♥ Faces theme of the week is {Sweet Dreams}. I haven't entered a picture in a long time, but I figured now was as good a time as any...considering we are sleeping and I haven't thrown up in over 10 days! Praise God!

This is our daughter Addie and dog Abbey. It constantly amazes me how patient Abbey is with Addie. This is a perfect example of that!

Make sure to head over to I ♥ Faces and see some other sweet sleeping faces!

And please make sure to check out this post that tells you how you can help some precious children all the way around the world!

Check It Out: Angel Tree

There seems to really be an increased focus on giving this Christmas. I think it's partially because we're so blessed to be surrounded by people who do give to others. I think it's also because giving is way down, and these organizations are desperate to fulfill their primary goal of helping others in need.

I've read a couple of articles recently on making Christmas focused primarily on giving to others and using an advent calendar to come up with ways to give Jesus gifts, because it is His birthday we're celebrating here, right? I don't necessarily agree with everything that was said in each article. We do enjoy Santa and love giving and getting gifts, but we want our children to understand more of what it means to give than to get!

You may remember me posting about a few needs here and here. Since then, Paul and I have come up with a few ideas that our family would like to do. He plans to take Addie to deliver coffee to the gate guards at the air force base where he works on Christmas morning. We're hoping to deliver coffee and bagels to our neighborhood fire station and church office. Again, I don't tell you these things to say look what we're doing. I tell you these things because we want others to get involved! We want others to be blessed by serving. And we want those ever growing needs of precious families around us to be met!

I remember when I was growing up that my mom used to have us pick two angels off the Angel Tree at church. We'd shop for an outfit and a toy for the child and return it to the church for delivery. I'm not sure I completely understood what Angel Tree was, but I do now. And it did teach me a lot about giving to others!

Here's a quick excerpt from their site:

Every child has a story. For 1.5 million American children, that story is filled with the abandonment, loneliness, and shame that comes from having a mom or dad in prison. At Angel Tree, we find ways to reach out to these children, by sharing Christ's love with them at Christmas and by developing year-round relationships. In the end, it's so much more than giving Christmas gifts-it's about restoring families.

As I was listening to the real radio today (because my free Sirius radio has run out), I heard a plea for help from the Angel Tree organization. There are many churches who adopt and commit to sponsoring children, but there are apparently still 50,000 children nationwide who live in rural areas where churches are not sponsoring! That's 50,000 children who might not have a Christmas...at all.

I know. You can say, well it's their parent's fault for landing themself in jail. But...is that the child's fault? Or even the spouses? I seriously doubt it. And is that really the attitude we should have as Christians?

So, I'm asking you to consider visiting their site.

Its way easy to sponsor a child. You can choose the state and the age. You decide how many you'd like to sponsor for a Christmas gift, age appropriate Bible, and a message from their parent who is incarcerated. It was perfect for us because I can't shop right now! I'm so much better, but I still don't have the energy! It's a gift that each of these children more than deserve!

Please consider sharing some ideas your family is doing or has done for others by leaving comments! You can even share them anonymously! I have a feeling another friend might even let me share her post I think she's writing on sponsoring Compassion International Children! It's a wonderful way to share ideas with others, big and small, that cost a little something to nothing at all!

So what are you giving to Jesus for His birthday?

This is Why...

I love our dog Abbey.

I was letting Addie watch her fish show, trying to hold off on nap time; and this is what I looked over and found.

This is one of the many reasons why I love our golden Abbey girl!

Unconditional Love

I did not take one picture during Thanksgiving. I think that was probably due to the fact that I was merely trying to survive.

However, my sweet father-in-law/Addie's Grandpa did get two fabulous pictures of our girl in a fabulous mood!

And here's Grandpa with his co-favorite granddaughters as he calls them: Kira and Addie. I cannot believe Addie used to have cheeks like Kira. I love them! Are they adorable or what?!?

We spent 5 hours in the car getting to Augusta on Wednesday after Paul's root canal only to drive another 5 hours back Friday morning instead of Saturday.

Addie f.r.e.a.k.e.d. o.u.t. Thursday night. Freaked out is about the only way to describe it. She literally lost it. She cried for at least 30 minutes with us trying to comfort her plus the 20 minutes she'd cried in the pack-n-play. (that doesn't touch the 45 minute freak out she had when she woke up this morning!).

Too much food that she refused to eat. Too many people. Too much stimulation. Too much new. Too much fun. Too much running around.

All too soon after her new normal had become her normal.

So we came home. (and she's slept beautifully since then! Almost 12 hours last night!)

And besides, I'd started throwing up for some reason. That brings me to my point of why this post is entitled unconditional love. You may recall, my husband had a root canal Wednesday morning. I drove as far as I could...Newnan. Didn't even make it to Atlanta. Too exhausted.

So Paul drove the rest of the way without complaining even once: unconditional love.

We spent Thursday at Addie's Gramma's/Paul's mom's house (before and after naps). Paul played with Addie. Loved on her. Chased her. Changed her at least 4 times. Was patient with her. Loved on her some more. Kept up with her bow. Calmed her down. Worried about her. And loved on her some more.

All without complaining once: unconditional love.

Friday morning I got sick. In addition to getting sick, we were both exhausted from staying up all night with Addie.

I got to take an hour plus nap before we left, and he had to drive home, all without complaining once: unconditional love.

We get home. He goes to get me dinner. I take one bite, and it's all over. Then he drives all the way to Publix to get me some good bread so I can have toast.

Again: unconditional love.

There is no way I'd have made it through this challenging time without Paul. I know God put him here to give me strength when I just don't have it! He's been the encourager and the motivator. He's found me food to eat when no one else could. He's reminded me that I AM in fact pregnant with twins and had major surgery, thus explaining much of these symptoms of pure exhaustion and nausea. He is the most wonderful husband ever!

As my mom said, we've worn out the for better or for worse, in sickness and in health over the past six weeks.

But I haven't heard my sweet husband complain about caring for me or Addie even once.

Now that's unconditional love!

Who Says Mothering Isn't Instinctual

Ok. So I'm not here for a debate. At all.

I'm not being sexist (or genderist?).

I know there are plenty of mothers who don't mother well for whatever reason. And then there are plenty of mothers who are nurturing, loving, and caring! And there are plenty of fathers who are both of the above as well!

Just go with me on this though:

Addie hasn't really shown an interest in dolls. It's been books, instruments, blocks, little people, and music. We haven't encouraged her or discouraged her either way. However, we have started talking about the babies in mommy's tummy and how to love on her babies. Clearly we need to work on this to help her understand how to treat babies. She's fascinated with them, which we hope will help. And we're really counting on the time we get to spend with Kira, Addie's little cousin, during Thanksgiving and Christmas to give her an opportunity to gently love and care for younger children.

The cat has not been (or has been) so fortunate. Even with all claws and teeth intact, our cat has patiently just screamed at Addie to leave her alone. And at other times, she just tolerates the pats and soft rubs ripping of fur!

Until recently:

And then the true test occurred:

Sweet and gentle!

So the other day, she puts one of her lovies over her Elm0 doll to cover him up. And then she wanted him wrapped in it. Given the size limitations, we went and got one of her blankets and swaddled Elm0 for her.

(please excuse the red-eye and the use of a flash. i havent used one in so long that i cant remember how!)

And so she immediately went and rocked Elm0, loving and cuddling him...

..until she'd had a enough!

And who says some mothering isn't instinctual!

So much...

We used to sing a song a camp:
I've got so much, so much,
so much, so much, so much,
so much, so much, so much,
so much, so much, so much,
To be thankful for!

We have soooooooooo much to be thankful for!

Today, with the help of my precious aunt, we washed and folded/hung at least 5 loads of laundry.

I went through my regular summer clothes and regular winter clothes and stored them away. I pulled out my maternity clothes and a friend's maternity clothes and hung them too.

And I took a nap.

And Addie took a rather early unexpected nap...

...in the chair while watching E1mo.

And I just can't resist her sweet hands:

...and her sweet feet wearing her wild tights...

...and her sweet self!

Oh...and I took a few pictures today, for the first the first time since the beach (which I will post soon, I promise Dad!)

Addie's new favorite thing are these sunglasses. She used to hate sunglasses. She must find these more fashionable, don't you think?

Addie was happy to go on a walk with Nana (whom she calls Nah):

Nah was in mid tickle when I snapped that one! Addie's smiling though!

If I was doing a Wordless Wednesday, this would be it:

The not so great news of the day is that Paul had to go to the dentist. One of his teeth was really hurting; and it turns out, he'll be having a root canal next week. :/

I keep reminding myself that God's got it under control. He knows 1.) how much we can handle and 2.) that He is and will provide for our every need. There's no denying that!

So right before Paul's tooth started hurting, Addie has started sleeping again. I'm not hoping to replace one struggle with another, but I am way thankful we don't have to deal with both of those right now!

So there it is...my first blog post with pictures that I managed to take for the first time in weeks!

And we are thankful!

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Colossians 2: 6-7

Check It Out: Child's Play Charity

My husband's a bit of a dork. He's the first to admit it. I love him though.

He played video games long after college. Now he works with computers. I'm thankful he's a computer dork. He can make my Macb00k act like a PC with W1ndows (only when site don't have Mac compatible downloads. otherwise, why would I want that? I know!). He has all of our laptops synced to a desktop that doesn't have a monitor but connects to the wireless router, modem, and printer. And they're all locked, password protected, and encrypted.

You get my point.

He isn't quite as into video games as he used to be. We have one system hooked up now instead of three...or four. I'm not sure the last time he actually played it though. But he still enjoys looking at the new games and deciding if he might want to get one, beat it, and sell it back.

So it wasn't a surprise when he found this: Child's Play Charity, a community of gamers making a difference. They work with hospitals around the world to set up Amazon wish lists so others can help! The hospitals ask for games, game systems, toys, books, and videos to both give to patients and keep at the hospitals for patients to use. Items range from $3 crayons to $300 xbox systems! So far this year, they've had over $450 thousand in gifts and contributions, in the first week! Um...oh, and last year they raised 1.4 million. Wow!

We also follow Kate McCrae's blog. She's a five year old who's finishing her 4th of 6 rounds of chemo for a brain tumor. Her family has created Kates Crazy Cool Christmas, in which they are donating Christmas gifts and Bibles to children and families in Phoenix Children's hospital. You can find out more information about it here.

After having been in the hospital for four long days, I cannot imagine being in the hospital either with a child or as a child for weeks and months on end. It's exhausting. There's no privacy; and whether you feel like it or not, there's nothing to do! So many of these children are confined to their rooms because there immune systems are non-existent. I just cannot imagine.

Again, I'm not sharing these to force something on you. In fact, I'm not even asking you to give. I'm just asking you to check them out; and if it touches you, go for it!

What are some things your family is doing for others this Thanksgiving and Christmas?

14 Weeks

As of today, we're officially out of the 1st trimester and into the 2nd.

14 weeks!

Always a milestone with a pregnancy...especially this one!

My 2nd trimester with Addie was fabulous. I ate like there was no tomorrow. That nesting instinct kicked in, and I got more done than I ever dreamed. And bottom line, I felt great!

Not that anything with this pregnancy has been like my pregnancy with Addie. But we're going to go with the above for the 2nd trimester anyway!

For the last few days, I've consistently shown that I've gained 4 pounds! Now...I'm still down 6, but we're on the way up instead of staying constant. I looked down the other day and realized I was a little wider than before and have a wonderful little pooch that's started sticking out! Yippee!

Each week, Paul and I get an email from babycenter.com (highly recommend the site if you haven't been there before) about our babies development. I don't normally post them; but like I said, this is a milestone week!

Here are a few facts about our twins:

• They can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, possibly suck their thumb, and grasp! (and we know Baby B can rub her little face!)
  
• From head to bottom, they measures 3 1/2 inches - about the size of a lemon - and they weighs 1 1/2 ounces each.
  
• Their bodies' are growing faster than their heads, which now sit upon more distinct necks. By the end of this week, their arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of their body. (Their legs still have some lengthening to do.)
  
• Their livers start making bile this week — a sign that they're doing their job right — and their spleens start helping in the production of red blood cells.
  
• Though you can't feel their tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilists' hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

You might have noticed the widget on the sidebar of the twins floating around.

This is how they started out looking:



And this is more what they look like now!



Yes, it utterly and completely fascinates me!

My goals for this week were to not throw-up and take some pictures! I only threw-up once (I'll take that!), but I didnt manage to get any pictures. However, we did go to Birmingham to visit our friends the Lewis' where Allison took some fabulous pictures and we had a delicious dinner! I figure I can call that a success!

Addie's eating significantly better, and she's waking up less at night. Although now it's gone from 5-6 times a night to 2-3. Still not fun. Period! She's more affectionate than she's ever been before, and I just love it!

Addie did end up falling and scraping her knees Saturday before dinner. I think this was the first time she's hurt herself and been able to label it. An owie she has, and she knows how to use it for all it's worth! Paul said she asked for milk in the car and all he had was water. So her reaction: owie, owie, owie! I was clipping her very long fingernails and toenails the other day; and each time I would clip, she woulds softly say "ow!" I think after her fall, she really knows what an owie is now!

But my favorite is when you ask her for a kiss. If it's not her idea, she'll put her hand over her face/on her head like you've just asked a 10 year old to clean her room and dramatically let out a big sigh or yell. Goodness. Maybe she'll be our only drama queen between the three of them! I haven't a clue where she could have gotten it from!

Hope you have a wonderful week! :)

Every good and perfect gift is from above...
James 1:17a

Preemies

I've somehow found several blogs recently with families who have preemies or micropreemies. Well, actually a few found me! But it's a huge reality with twins, triplets, and higher order multiples!

We pray that our girls (if that's what they remain :) will stay put full term for twins (37 weeks) so that we can avoid the NICU altogether. But the reality is that around 60% of twins are born prematurely. That can mean just days in the NICU or months.

For most families, this turns their world upside down (it sure would mine!). A sweet family in North Carolina has had two babies in the NICU and lost both of them. In memory of their girls, they have started an annual preemie onesie drive. You can read more about their family here and the drive here. There are many online places where you can order preemie clothing and have it sent directly to this family. Their goal last year was to collect 200 pieces...and they collected well over 2,000, resulting in deliveries to over 6 hospitals with NICUs in North Carolina and 3 other deliveries at a later date to the hospital where their girls were! Amazing!

So...if this is something that touches your heart, we'd love for you to join us in sending even just one preemie outfit to this family! Not only will you be blessed, but they will be blessed as well as the family who receives your outfit/s!

The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

Miracles

Our doctors visit today was fabulous...

...and long! My OB had an emergency this morning and was supposedly running 45 minutes behind. We had not seen him after well over an hour. So...

we did our ultrasound first!

One word: perfect!

Perfect heartbeats. Perfect sizes. Perfect wiggles. Perfect kicking. Perfect hands rubbing perfect little faces. Perfect rolling. Perfect mouths. Perfect eyes. Perfect looks. Perfect profiles. Perfect fingers and perfect toes.

You get my point.

And we asked the ultrasound tech to see if she could maybe tell us what they were (even though both of us had a hunch that turned out to be correct)!

For now,

we're having...

are you ready for this...

because who knows if we are...

two girls.

Two perfect little girls.

Our only hope and prayer throughout this pregnancy has been for healthy babies. Then with my surgery and being faced with losing the babies lives as well as my own, we continued to fervently pray for their health! Sure, I've said that I'd love this or I'd love that. Little boys are wonderful. One of each would be great fun. But now there is only one thing on our minds:

Thank heavens for little girls!

And we are so thankful!

I'm not going to go out and chose fabric for the nursery or buy a bunch of girls clothes. Oh wait, we have enough girl's clothes for two anyway. Ok. So I'm not going to go out and buy a bunch of matching girls clothes. Although I did find the cutest pink seersucker bubbles and a matching dress for Addie that I ordered last weekend. On major sale! What a hunch!

But that's beside the point!

We have two healthy babies, measuring perfectly; and we could not be more joyous!

Here are some pictures of our suspected girls!

Meet Baby Girl A:
She already loves to curl up in a tiny ball; but when she's on her back, she's constantly kicking up at her sister. She's lower than her sister in placement, so it's a bit harder to get her picture. She's already quite a roller...

...and even turned her face to look at us!

Meet Baby Girl B:
She loves to lay on her back and show us her precious profile! She sweetly rubbed her little face with her hand several times. And her mouth...

...is already open, ready to tell us all that's on her mind! I can't wait to hear all she has to say!

And for now, these are our girls! Praise God for these little blessings! They have already been labeled miracles, and we agree!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

because...

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

"Not Me!"

...Wednesday.

I'm feeling the need for a "Not Me!" post. It's not Monday, so we'll change it up a little.

"Not Me!" Wednesday it is!

Addie did not throw the tantrum of all tantrums when I walked in to pick her up from MMO last week. She was not already crying because her friend Cady had left right before I got there. Clearly, I was not late! I did not sit down in the rocking chair (because I was so out of breath) to wait for her to finish. She did not throw herself on the floor and kick and scream. And her teacher did not look at me and say that she'd NEVER seen Addie do anything like that! What? After calming down, she did not walk out with me like nothing had happened and then decide for some reason that she did not want to exit the building. She did not proceed to lay down on the floor and start to throw another tantrum. She did not know good and well that I couldn't pick her up and know that she had it all under control! I did not look around and breathe a sigh of relief that there were only two other mom's and kids in the foyer. I did not bribe her with carrying the keys...and it did not work! (thankfully, it did!)

Addie did not voluntarily take a nap on a bean bag in the middle of the room at MMO today. She did not willingly lay down and go to sleep. She did not sleep well after the other children woke up. She is not exhausted because she's still not not sleeping at night! Our friend did not point out that MMO has not changed and continues to be very normal for her! I did not take this as a good sign that maybe when things return to normal (whatever that is!) that her good sleep will return!

She is still not not sleeping at night. She's not. Period. I did not call the pediatrician today to see what we could do. It has not been suggested to me by some to give her benadryl to sleep. No. I will not. The nurse did not tell me pay $30 and watch some video online to "teach my toddler to sleep." Maybe I didn't make myself clear. She's not sleeping because she's traumatized. She's not throwing fits when she wakes up in the middle of the night. She's not ticked off with us. She's having panic attacks. She's freaking out! She's hyperventilating within minutes of waking up. I've apparently abandoned the "Not Me!" lingo here. That's ok...my child is still not not sleeping!

I did not get brave and take Addie to get a cookie and pretzel today after MMO (after I took a 2 hour nap while she was at MMO). We did not then go visit her Rie Rie at her gym (where i sat). I did not desperately need to get gas. I was not letting Addie watch Baby Signing Time in the car as we drove around town. I did not promise that I'd never do that! I did not think I was being the coolest mom ever when I left the radio (and dvd player) on while I pumped gas. I did not put my debit card in the gas pump and realize that my car was moving! It did not take me a second to figure out why my car was moving. I did not leave my car in drive instead of putting it in park before getting out to pump gas. I will never leave my keys in the ignition with anything on again while I pump gas so that I will not make this mistake again. I did not call Paul and tell him he had the biggest moron for a wife. He did not make me feel better by telling me that he too had done the exact same thing before...allowing the car to roll forward. I did not not believe him!

I am not so thankful that Paul is off work tomorrow so that I will maybe not commit such crazy "Not Mes!" tomorrow.

What have you not done recently! Happy Wednesday!

What A Weekend!

It's been 3 weeks since my surgery. I seem to measure time in before and after the surgery. Life changed so much!

I'm so tired of only blogging words! I started this blog with only pictures...and then I got wordy, but at least I still had the pictures! I want to be taking pictures so badly right now, but I just don't have the energy yet. I get out of breath when I walk to the kitchen. I feel like I'm missing so much of Addie growing up since the morning sickness started and then the surgery. It makes me sad...

...but I'm so thankful to be able to at least witness it all!

We had great plans for our weekend! Paul's mom was coming to help us, and Paul was going to clear out the guest bedroom of furniture so they could start putting the 2nd baby bed together. It would give us more storage space to get ready for these twins...

...but other plans were had.

Paul ended up with a horrible stomach virus by Friday. He was miserable to say the least! My mom had to stay with us Thursday night to give him a break from getting up with Addie. She ended up spending the next 2 nights with us as well. You know...because when Paul's sick and shouldn't be getting up with Addie and I'm not allowed to pick her up, we've got a problem. I am so thankful for Addie's relationship with my mom! I'm so thankful that she loves her and is so comfortable around her. I think Addie would be in much worse shape if this wasn't the case.

Addie's still getting up 3-4 times a night. It's like she's taking naps all night long. Every 2-3 hours she's up, which means we're up. It's exhausting. It's almost like she's afraid to go to sleep sometimes. She's restless and twitches in her sleep. When I saw her pediatrician on Wednesday, I told her that I wasn't worried about Addie's verbal skills. I wasn't worried about her gross or even her fine motor skills. But oh my word, would she please make my child sleep? She agreed that we were doing the right thing for now, given that Addie's little world has been turned flat upside down.

I'll be home with her all next week though. I'm praying that the consistency will pay off. I'm praying I have the energy to keep up with her! She's already started eating better for my mom. Let's hope that will transfer to us! And we all know a full tummy makes for better sleep! Right? Just say yes!

I've been feeling significantly better. With the progesterone shots out of my system, I've felt so much better. Until last night. I got in the car to run get milk shakes with my mom and was cleaning out some cheerios from the seat. It was all over. Cheerios? They weren't even mushy! I was so mad! I had gone almost 5 whole days without throwing up! So, I'll start the count over with today!

And that's about it. I know it's boring. I know you're probably tired of hearing surgery updates. But my goals this weeks are to 1.) care for Addie, 2.) not throw up, and 3.) take some pictures!

Here are a few more prayer requests:

• Paul's and my mom's health! They are both feeling run down and exhausted! I cannot care for Addie without them! Please pray for their rapid recovery!
• Addie's sleeping (and eating). All I can say is that this too shall pass!
• The twins. Their health and well being.
  
• My energy. It takes nothing to wear me out! I still can't stand up and talk without getting out of breath. Thankfully I'd started working with Addie before the surgery on getting into her car seat and picking her things up. It has paid off!
  
• Weight gain for me! I know these babies are getting all the nutrients they need, but I know I'm not! I'm still hovering around the -10lb level and haven't been able to put any on. No one (thankfully), including my doctors, are fussing; but it's so frustrating to me because I'm hungry and want to eat but can't always!
• We have an appointment with my OB on Thursday as well as an ultrasound. Please pray for a good report and healthy babies!

Thank you for continuing to pray for our family! I promise to get some pictures up sooner than later! Have a wonderful week!

#Update 3#

I took Addie to the doctor today for her 18 month appointment.

Let that sink in.

No. The significance is not that she's 19 months and 2 weeks old right now!

I drove. I transported my child. I kept up with her. I spent over an hour and a half away from the house. I ate at least 3 snacks while we were gone. I went by myself.

I did not throw up. I did not pass out. I did not even feel nauseous!

I also went to get my progesterone levels checked early this morning. I've been taking intramuscular shots for 6 weeks now. I took them for 10 weeks with Addie. They hurt much worse this time. I don't understand why, but they did.

And they were making me sick!

A progesterone level should be above 25 when you are pregnant. Today, mine was 56! A few weeks ago, it was at 120! No more shots for me!

No wonder I've felt better! I think I've eaten more in the past 48 hours than I've eaten over the last 2+ weeks! Oh my!

Back to Addie.

We went for her 18 month appointment today! Although a tad late, here are her stats according to her current age:
weight: still in the 95th%ile at 30lbs 3.5 ounces
height: still off the charts at 34 and 5/8 inches
head circumference: down to the 90th%ile at 48.2 cm

Proportional. Yet ginormous. Her winter shirts, dresses and skirts are 3Ts and her pants are 2Ts.

But perfect!

Except for sleeping and eating. We've discovered that when she's in a long term stressful situation, this is how she reacts. This happened at the end of July too. She quit eating by the end of the week. She refused to sleep by herself, and she'd only sleep in the bed with us. It became very apparent to us how disturbed the environment was making her. Although this is significantly different, she is reacting the same way.

I could blame the tantrums on it too. But that's fairly typical for her age. I could blame the meltdowns she has when new people approach her on it as well. But that's somewhat typical for a clingy stage.

But I cannot deny her refusing to eat and waking up several times in the night and being unable to soothe herself like she's done for so long. I cannot do anything but accept that our situation is having an affect on her. I've been her primary caregiver during the day since she was born...for 19 months. Over the past two weeks, that has not been the case. She's had impeccable care and lots of love. I'm pretty sure she's actually received more attention over the past two weeks than normal.

But it's change; and although children are surprisingly resilient, this is how she deals with stress.

So we're being very patient. Lots of rocking. Lots of distracting. Lots of encouraging. Lots of cuddling. Lots of patience.

And it will improve. It will get better. And we will move on!

Thank you so much for your sweet comments on the previous post. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I knew so many of you were still praying for us, no matter my state of mind, and your emails and messages only reinforced it! Thank you for that!

Praises: I have not been nauseous for two days. I am eating and feeling stronger each hour!
Praise God! Also, our house is clean, tidy and straight! Between my mom and aunt last week, Allison all day Monday, a cleaning lady on Tuesday, and Laura Beth and Diane today, it's perfect. I am so thankful! And I'm so thankful for such amazing family and friends!

Requests: Please continue to pray for Addie, that she would sleep and eat. We've spent lots of time cuddling and snuggling, and I'm praying it will start to pay off! Please pray for Paul. He thought he was exhausted last week, but these last few nights have sealed that deal. He's worn slap out! Please pray that he can rest and would get to feeling better!

Again, thank you for your sweet words and many prayers! Each one of you have blessed us in an unique ways, some with words, others with food, and others with time. Thank you!

God is good...all the time!

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16

Gifts...

I admit it. I threw a little pretty big pity party the other night. The same night I lay in the bed thinking for so long. It was sometime last week. I was tired of throwing up. I was tired of not being able to do anything. I was upset because someone who we love hadn't called or even emailed to check on us in a whole week and another someone we love hadn't bothered to call at all!

I threw a big fat pity party.

I admit it.

I'm not perfect.

And as much as I try, I don't find joy in every moment!

I just knew no one had any idea that we are really still struggling! I've had to have someone with me (and Addie) 24/7 for two weeks now. That'll drain anyone, even the people who love you the most! (I finally got to stay by myself with Addie a little Monday morning! Whoohoo!) And I just knew there must be bigger & better things for people to be praying for by now! They must have forgotten us!

But before I could go to sleep that night, a sweet message came in from an old friend "who was still praying for our family!" And I had another one from a college friend that I haven't even talked to in years, that she was reading our blog & praying for us! And then a lady from our church left me the sweetest message on my facebook wall. And one of my dear college friends just reminded me that she was still praying for us too!

And the next morning, my best friend Diane showed up at our house at 8am to stay with me & Addie. She let me just sleep, and I didn't have to worry about Addie once! And the wife of one of the guys Paul works with truly brought us enough food for the entire weekend and some! And an old high school friend called just to see how I was feeling & let me know that I was on their church prayer list...a church we don't even attend!

And the next night, as we listened to Addie scream because she didn't want to sleep, again, for the 3rd night in a row because her little world is just flat upside down, I had one of our dearest friends tell us he was sending prayers down the street and around the block...at 12:29am. And when I woke up, there were three more messages saying the same thing.

And even though I had no idea Addie would refuse to sleep for an entire 3 hours that night, forcing me to get up, pick her up and hold her until she fell asleep as a last resort, I had no choice but to wrap up my pity party & gently remind myself that God's got it covered. He hasn't carried us this far only to drop us off! I'm sure He just sighed, picked up a little more of our load, as if He wasn't already carrying it all, and continued carrying us whispering along the way: "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you!" And I wonder if He thought, "When will you ever learn that?!?!?!?"

What amazing patience our Father shows us. He gently nudges along, reminding us of His faithfulness. And when we are too weak to stand alone, He just carries us. Plan & simple.

My dear collage friend Allison drove from Birmingham yesterday with her three children...all under the age of five. She met us back here after our sweet friend Mandy took us to Kindermusik. Allison worked for six straight hours on my house. She straightened and cleaned. Watched the kids. Organized and put away. Fed the kids lunch. And she cleaned out my refrigerator! I can now officially open it without gagging! And she considered it pure joy to serve our family. What a gift!

And when I was in the hospital, Paul's dad offered to have someone come and clean our house. When our friends the Becks came over and found that out, they had the perfect person! She was here today...and our house has honestly never been so clean! I may not be able to find anything for a few days, but it's worth it! She's cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned! What a gift!

I think that's what has amazed me the most about our situation. So many people have stepped up and served us with such willing hearts! We have had a hot meal brought to us almost every night since we got home from the hospital. Two weeks, and another week planned! I have had several friends email me in an attempt to try to find something that I could eat. Not only did they bring us dinner, but they went out of their way to ask what sounded good! Diane coordinated all of the meals and still is! She's brought food to our house and come to stay with me and Addie. What a gift!

In addition to my aunt driving from Atlanta twice (and offering to come this week too!), I think my mom has been over here 12 of the last 14 nights (yes, I counted), to give Addie a bath and help get her ready for bed. She works all day, sometimes tutors for an hour or two at night, manages to work out and grocery shop for us...and then comes and takes care of a 19 month old before bed! That's after she kept her the weekend we went out of town, drove to Tennessee with her by herself not actually knowing how I was, brought her back and forth to the hospital, stayed with me alternating with Paul...and drove me home! I often wondered how she did all she did for us when we were growing up. I now know: besides drawing her strength from our amazing God, she's superwoman (and I'm not being sarcastic!)! What a gift!

And then there's my husband. Addie almost did him in the other night when she refused to sleep. In the past, paci in her mouth and she'd be back asleep! Nope. The panic cry started. It's different. It's one of those things a parent can just hear. It was there. She was truly afraid. She was panicking and couldn't calm herself down. But she almost did him in. He has waited on me hand and foot. Gotten Addie ready each morning, stayed home from work on some days to take care of her and me, let me sleep for hours on end, fed her dinner on most nights since we've been home, picked up toys, gotten me medicine, helped me with my shots (which I'm done with...whoohoo!)...oh, and gone to the grocery store at 8pm to get me waffles! He has been daddy and mommy all at once. He's read to Addie. Played with her. Loved on her. Changed her diapers. Located pacis. Found lovies. And on and on and on! And while neither of us are perfectly patient, he's been such an amazing husband throughout this whole ordeal! A strength when I was completely helpless! What a gift!

So instead of throwing a pity party. I am thankful.

I am thankful for the food. I am thankful for the friends! I am thankful for the gifts that people have so selflessly given!

And even if it returns tomorrow, I am thankful for today...an entire day without nausea. I truly believe that I have gained 5 pounds just today because I've finally been able to eat! I ate dinner with my family! What a gift!!!!

And I am thankful!!!

Kindermusik

I'm so far behind on pictures. Well...I actually don't have that many pictures to post. I've been a tad out of commission! But I'm going backwards...basically, Kindermusik Halloween and the beach. That's it! Yes, I'm so jealous of people's beautiful fall pictures. Yes, I wish I had some of my own from the mountains. BUT...I'm here typing, right? Thankful!

Addie and I have been attending a Kindermusik class with Mandy and Cady for a few months now. The whole concept of the class is movement with music. I've been amazed at Addie's new found ability to keep the beat when she dances now or claps. I really think it has a lot to do with this class! And it's always fun for Mandy and me to get to spend a little time together and enjoy watching the girls interact. They are such sweet friends!

We missed the trunk or treat at our church and few parties with friends, but we're hoping to make it down to a local college for a fall festival this afternoon. We'll see!

So enough words...

Not my best set of pictures; but I was still sporting 35 staples, which meant I had a tad harder time maneuvering myself! So don't look at them too closely...or they'll blur!

Our little kitty cat!

And how cute that Cady was a dog! We hadn't even talked about it!

This is Addie's teacher. She was so sweet to do some of the lifting and movement with Addie because I couldn't!

Mandy was so sweet to help with Addie too! We've both learned a lot about having two kids...and carrying them at the same time! You can see how much heavier Addie is though!

This isnt' the greatest picture, but I LOVE it because Cady's turning around to find her friend and make sure she's ok! Sweet friends!

Their sweet little class. Look at all the animals! Duck, dog, cat, rooster, ladybug, peacock, and lion. But you cant forget the AU football player and the adorable little girl in the poodle skirt and glasses!

So what were your kids for Halloween?

Beach pictures to come...sometime soon!