Who Moved My Cheese...

The administrator of the first school where I taught had us read a specified book each summer. One summer it was Who Moved My Cheese.  The adult version was great and all, but the kids picture book is what got my attention (that probably says something about my attention, but that's ok!).

I remember pulling out the children's version and reading it to a few of my students at my second school where I taught. Their teacher had to go on medical leave, and they were not happy about their new permanent sub! It actually made an impact on them, and I witnessed their attitudes gradually change as time went on.

I won't bore you with a long synopsis of the plot, but you can read more about it here with this cute little presentation that someone else created! Basically though, there are 4 mice: two are willing to go search for new cheese after their stash is gone and two are not. In the end, one of the two unwilling mice ventures out and realizes the value of dealing with the change that's been set before him (you know, because once that cheese is gone, it's not like you can change anything and make it reappear) and actually discovers that his new cheese is better than the old!  

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If you know me at all, you know I'm a planner. If you've read this blog long enough, you know I'm a planner, with this being a perfect example! I've mellowed a lot since college and even more since having a child!

...but I'm still a planner and my cheese just got moved!!!!

I had a great post ready for you full of the realities of being pregnant with twins at 37 weeks.  There was no sugar coating in this post. I'll still post it...but tomorrow! I was going to tack onto the end of it a great 37 week belly shot (later too) and an update from my 37 week OB appointment.

...but somebody moved my cheese!

Before you start calling me dramatic and unreasonable, remember I am 37 weeks+1 day pregnant with unusually large twin girls! We're estimating a combined weight of about 13lbs 7ozs as of today. Thirty-seven weeks is tough for any pregnancy, but this one is magnified!

That somebody who moved my cheese happens to be my OB. You see, he's been assigned to jury duty during my 38th week of pregnancy. He has to be there early Monday; but even if he gets chosen, he wont have to be there until much later on Tuesday.

So for my benefit, he moved my scheduled c-section to Tuesday, May 4th.

Um...I know, that's only 24 hours. Yes, I'll still be 38 weeks. No, it's not that big of a deal. But it is...

...because it IS 24 hours later. We had everything worked out for introducing the girls to Addie and whisking her away to a fun weekly activity. My dear friend was coming from Birmingham to spend some time with us and take pictures of the girls and Addie in the hospital (and her husband had taken Monday off to keep their kiddos)! Family was coming into town. Another friend who is leaving town Tuesday was going to be able to meet them Monday! And yet another friend had Monday off to take a test, so she'd be able to come visit too!

IT WAS ALL PLANNED OUT PERFECTLY, AND HE MOVED MY CHEESE!

But...Change Happens.
Whether we like it or not.

And...The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Find New Cheese. 
There is good in this. Paul can get an entire 8 hours of work in on Monday that we'll have with him later at home!

So...I'm determine to Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese.
By just extending our Addie weekend right into Monday (more about that later)!
 
Because...Noticing Small Changes Early Helps You Adapt To The Bigger Changes That Are To Come.
You know...because our life is about to seriously change when these sweet baby girls are born!

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Yes, I know they still might show up early (and we sure can't plan for that...haha!); but according to my OB, there aren't any signs of that as of today. I'm dilated about 2 cm, which is where I was Sunday as well.  Paul and I think they aren't coming until we go in and get them!


So God continues to teach me a lot about patience and His timing! He is consistently showing me examples of my husband's unconditional love for me and our family. I have a constant reminder of His goodness anytime I look down (and can't see my toes;). Every minute of this pregnancy has been a testimony to his unfailing love!

So we continue to wait...even if it is only 24 extra hours!

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My Redeemer is Faithful and True 

Steven Curtis Chapman

As I look back on the road I've traveled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Romans 8:25

35 Weeks!!!!

Yesterday, we hit 35 weeks! It's been the first whew date that we've set since the girls got old enough to survive outside the womb at a mere 24 weeks. Then 28 weeks. Then 32 weeks.
And here we are: if they are well and don't have any health problems, they are allowed in the well-baby nursery at our hospital now! But if they can make it to 36 weeks, they only have a 10% chance of having underdeveloped lungs (and being in the NICU for that reason)...so that's our new goal!

What a tremendous blessing and a huge relief!

I dreamed yesterday that I was in the hospital in labor ready to have the twins; but they didn't have me on monitors, hadn't done ultrasounds, and hadn't even checked me to see if I was dilated! Somehow the nurses thought I was concerned about how to swaddle the babies, and I couldn't convince them that I was really more concerned about delivering them! Ummmm...so you think I'm anxious and READY for these little girls arrival!

I go back and forth. I definitely would like to see them wait until 36 weeks. I definitely want to meet them right now! But then again I know I probably won't ever feel these sweet kicks and movements and punches in my belly again. And that makes me sad.

So I'm trying hard to savor every moment!

I went to see my OB today and had an ultrasound. Both girls looks good! Baby A weighs 5 lbs 7 ozs and Baby B weighs 5 lbs 6 ozs! Now, if you are a math person (or can convert ounces to pounds), that's only 3 ozs shy of 11 pounds of baby! I am so thankful I am tall...but that's still a LOT of baby! In fact, it's a little over 2 of these honey dew melons!

Baby A is still as breech as she can be! In fact, her little bottom is basically sitting in my pelvis (and her favorite pastime is to kick my bladder)! Baby B is quite transverse (head on my top left and bottom/feet on my top right) and sort of wraps her little body around the top of my belly. She is a mover and a shaker, and I'm fairly certain will give her big sister Addie a run for her money when it comes to dancing!

They put me on the monitors again; and finally everyone behaved and stayed on the majority of the time so they could get a good reading! Whoohoo! Heart beats looked great. I am still having contractions, but I still can't feel them. So until I can, we're going to keep on keeping on! My doctor is very pleased with where we are (and we know it's only by the Grace of God that we are here!)! I can see myself becoming a little more challenged each day, and I am so thankful that both Paul and my mom are so willing to go out of their way to help (and do!) for both Addie and me! Bathing Addie. Cooking dinner. Running the vacuum cleaner. Oh how very blessed I know we are!

Here are two pictures of the girls. It's getting harder and harder to get pictures of them because they are so big and have such a small space to manuver in!

Here is the top of Baby A's little head...otherwise known as her brain!

Here is the back of Baby B's little head with her little ear sticking up! Precious!

The new recommendation by the whatever pregnancy association is to wait to induce/do a c-section with twins until 39 weeks. Friends, that's May 10th! Oh My Word! But today he said we'd play it by ear; and if I make it that long, it maybe more like 38 weeks depending on things!

So please pray for:
1.) the health of these babies (specifically lung development)!
2.) a safe delivery, no matter when it might be (specifically for them to remain not in distress)!
3.) the transition that our sweet Addie will inevitably go through!
4.) our patience and sanity...really!

There is no explination as to why we've made it this far along with these twins, especially given the trauma both my body and they endured. But I can assure you that we are daily (hourly) thanking our God for it!

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.

For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100

OB Visit: 33 weeks 4 days

I totally forgot to update yesterday after my appointment.

I am now officially 33 weeks 5 days! Whoohoo!

If what the ultrasound tech said is accurate, each baby should have gained about 4 oz over the past week. That would put Baby A at 4 lbs and Baby B at 4 lbs 4 oz. Which means I'm carrying 8lb 4 oz of baby, the size Addie was when she was born at 38 wks 4 days! 

That would be 2 of these (minus the prickly leaves, although from what I'm feeling, that's debatable!):

I had to do another non-stress test (they put an external monitor on each baby's heartbeat and my uterus).  Again, the worst part is laying on an exam table for 15 minutes in a strange position trying to stay still so as not to move the monitors! Stressful! Except yesterday, he kept me on it for almost an hour!!! Not. Fun. At. All! For those of you that have been pregnant or are pregnant, you know how impossible it is to stay in one position for any length of time...especially when you're measuring over 40 weeks in size!

Seems that Baby B (our wild one...no, not the bad one, just the wild one!) kept moving and her heart rate kept dropping so they couldn't get a long enough solid read on it.  It was a little very unnerving. I think he was about to send me for another ultrasound, but he finally got it! 

I am having fewer contractions than I was last week, which is great!  When I asked if I still had to "stay off my feet and rest," Dr. W's response was: We need to make it to 36 weeks.

Now let me clarify why I've been striving towards 35 weeks: at our hospital, babies can enter the well-baby nursery at 35 weeks if they are...well! From what I understand, and I maybe wrong, weight doesn't so much matter as much as their gestational age, ability to breathe on their own, ability to maintain their own body temperatures, and how much they can eat on their own!

So in the mornings, I try to get at least one errand run with Addie or do at least one activity with her. In the afternoons while she naps, I prop my feet up and rest or sleep! It's working so far! I have had to get creative with laundry, dishes, and just keeping things picked up. I kinda think my #1 priorities are keeping these babies where they are and caring for Addie though!

Several of my sweet friends have asked/emailed about how I feel about the strong likelihood of having a c-section. Well...to be completely honest with you, I'd rather not. I'm still hoping Baby A might turn (we have a friend who's baby A was head down the day before her delivery and flipped to breech that night!). BUT...I think my biggest peace comes from that fact that none of this is a surprise to God. He already knows the position each baby will be in at the time of their delivery. He's carefully orchestrated every aspect of this pregnancy (from conception to surviving my surgery to their perfect growth even when I wasn't to right up to now and delivery). My prayer has always been that we would have the perfect doctors on call and ready for whatever method of delivery is best for all 3 of us. If that's a c-section, then that's what I want. I do have to remind myself that it will most likely be much different from my surgery (3 inch incision vs 7 inch, little blood loss vs almost a liter, routine procedure vs exploratory, being prepared for it vs being in shock/trauma, etc). And most importantly I have to remind myself that His plan is far bigger than mine!

And that's about it! I go back Tuesday (nothing wrong but they didn't have any appointments on Thursday). Another non stress test.  And we go from there!

We hope your family has a wonderful Easter celebrating Christ's resurection!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

Already?

Don't panic. I'm not already in labor. Doctor's appointment went well. Ultrasound looked great.

Here are the details:

I am 32 weeks and 3 days.

Both babies are still girls! :)

Baby A: 3 lbs 12 oz
Baby B: 4 lbs

Fluid and placentas both look good.

Both babies are breech and have little chance of rotating. Really, one is more breech and the other transverse. Yeah, I'm a tad disappointed. I really wanted to Baby A to be in position to deliver vaginally. But...this cuts out a lot of guess work. No delivering one vaginally and the other possibly via a c-section. No turning. But anything can change...so we patiently wait, and know there are blessings in it too!

And honestly, I figured I was in the clear.

Until they put my on the non-stress test monitors.

First of all, they make you lay on your back. Do you know what happens when you lay on your back and you're 32 weeks pregnant with twins? The babies lay on your inferior vena cava (I think that is it), cutting off blood flow back to your heart, making you nauseous and lightheaded.

Second of all, they make you lay there for 15 minutes!

Third of all, Baby B would not cooperate. She wiggled and moved and got off the monitor and then got Baby A off the monitor with all her moving.

But the big surprise for me is that I'm already having contractions! Whoa.

Apparently you can find runs of contractions in even singleton pregnancies at this stage. I cannot feel them though; and until I do or something else changes, we patiently wait!

The doctor's words:
1.) drink lots of water
2.) stay off your feet and rest

I can deal with the waiting. I can follow #1.

But #2? I do have a 2 year old. Thankfully, he never used the word bed rest or even partial bed rest. He did remind me that there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop these babies from coming. That's good to hear from a doctor, seriously. We mom's have a enough mommy guilt as it is!

So...I'm going to stay off my feet as much as possible. Paul can do the grocery shopping. I can limit my trips from the back of the house to the front and back. I can sit while I cook (or Paul, the better cook, can just do it!).

And we will patiently wait!

Our ultrasound tech was amazing. Talked to us about the babies. Genuinely enjoyed doing the scan! I was so thankful after our last experience! 

Check out these angels:
I love it that their heads are so close together! And they both have hair! I could have told you that 2 months ago with the amount of reflux/indigestion I've experienced (old wives' tale, I know; but I believe it!)

And a sweet Baby A profile:

Sweet Baby B profile with an open mouth!

And check out that foot! We saw a hand too with these long fingers but didn't get a picture.

Precious Blessings!

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him...
Psalm 37:7

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

We've got one "big" "healthy" kid...

Before Addie was born, our seasoned doctor told us she'd be, max, 7lbs. When she came out at 8lbs 4 oz, we were ALL very surprised. She's maintained a consistent 75th-95th%ile range in height, weight, and head circumference for each of her first 3 checkups. All of the statistics say baby's typically double their weight in the first 4 months and triple it by age 1. We all thought she was "slowing" down a little...maybe? Not so...

Addie weighed in at 19.8 lbs (from 16lbs at 4 months) and measured 27.25 inches (from around 26 inches at 4 months). Both measurements are off the charts for her age!

Now...if she was in the 25th%ile for height and 95th%ile for weight, I might just be worried we were overfeeding her. But after discussing it with our pediatrician, she can actually be eating a little bit more than she is now...and can start meats!

Well, then there's the head...45cm. Our pediatrician came back behind the nurse and remeasured because she thought it was rather "big"...but it was right on! An average 12 month old has a head her size...again off the charts for her age! Her question: does your husband have a big head? (that must mean I don't ;) And since that's the case, and she's meeting her developmental milestones at an appropriate rate, we're in the clear! :) The great thing is...it doesn't look disproportional with her "big" body, and it must just be to hold her "big" brilliant brain! (No I'm not one of those mother who thinks their child is a genius...but she is, right?!? ;)

So being a new mother...a few observations I've had recently: when a sweet southern woman says: "bless your heart" as your baby screams her head off...she isn't exactly blessing you! In fact, she's more likely than not thinking you're an incompetent mother!

Whether well meaning or not, I think it goes right along with the comment I heard when I was 5 months pregnant: "you look like you're going to have a "big" baby." Huh? Hmmmm...so I'm "huge looking"? I did have a big baby, but that doesn't mean I looked like it; and if I did, the only person who should have told me that was my OB (and he didn't...and he's a stickler for weight gain!). But whatever motivations a person might have, all a pregnant woman needs to hear is: "you look fabulous!" "you make a beautiful pregnant woman!" etc, etc...

Why people feel it necessary to comment on their observations, I'll never know. I'm sure I'm guilty of it though! What I am quickly realizing is that when someone tells me I have a "healthy" looking baby, they don't exactly mean that either. My sweet best friend Di and her husband Tim always look at Addie and say, "She's so beautiful!" Now, of course they're biased, but it's exactly what every mother needs to hear!

My grandmother used to say two things (and of course, now my mother says them): 1) If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all! and 2) Consider the source. So I will!

Just some random thoughts...

4 Month Checkup

Checkups are not a bad thing. Doctors are not a bad thing. Shots are a very bad thing.

I hated shots as a child and remember a least one fit I threw (which I don't even think touches the fit I heard another little girl throw today!) What's ironic is that I gave myself over 75 shots in order to help us "get" Addie here! I guess I've overcome my fear of needles!

I survived shots as a child; we survived the 1st four of Addie's at 2 months; we will survive the 2nd four at 4 months; but I cannot guarantee that any of us will survive the next 16 she will take by the time she's 2...

Ok, ok. I'm being ridiculous, I know. I know the illnesses that these vaccines are preventing are FAR worse than putting my child through not just painful sticks but the fever and tears that follow...but it sure doesn't feel like it right now!

trying to sleep of that yucky feeling!

On a more realistic and happy note: Addie weighs a little over 16 lbs (up from 12.5 at 2 months) and is still in the 95th%ile. She is 26 inches long/tall (up from 24.5 at 2 months) but down to the 95th%ile instead of off the charts :) But...that's 3 inches away from "time for a new big girl car seat" :/ oh my!

We also found out she has a bit of acid reflux…which didn’t surprise us; but we are thankful for good drugs! We will start some rice cereal soon, and then it’s on to the vegis!

Slow down Little Bit! Again I ask the question...is there a "pause" or "slow" button somewhere?!?!?