In All Honesty...

...I've probably come across as looking at things a little too much through rose-colored glasses on this here blog.

My husband, mom, and closest friends know otherwise!

The truth be known: the end of any pregnancy is no fun. The end of a twin pregnancy is even less fun, especially when someone moves your cheese!

First of all here's one last belly pic that I'll post. It's gotten harder and harder for me to turn sideways to take them! I'll try to remember to take one early Tuesday morning right before the girls are born...if in fact they wait that long! :)

I had originally created this very honest list of not-so-fun aspects of being this pregnant with twins. But after much thought about this post...I just can't make my woes and complaints the main part of it! I will still include some of the realities we've faced at the bottom because they are just that, realities; but I have to create another list first.

I have linked into several blogs of families with multiples. I have read a lot of stories. I have read a lot about the risks associated with carrying twins. I have marveled at the complication-free pregnancy I have experienced against so many odds, even with emergency surgery at 10 weeks.

• We are at 37 weeks and 4 days. At 37 weeks, less than 2% of twins remain in the NICU. Twins are considered full term at 37 weeks. We have officially avoided premature birth.
• I've never been in pre-term labor. My contractions have never been consistent or painful. I've avoided magnesium and other drugs necessary to stop contractions as well as steroid shots to speed up the development of the girl's lungs (which come with complications themselves).
• My blood pressure has remained constant and good throughout (except for when my tube ruptured, but that had nothing to do with the twins!). No preeclampsia. No PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension). 
• I tested negative for gestational diabetes.
• The girls are in 2 separate sacks, decreasing (and I think completely ruling out) their risks for things like TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndrome) or becoming entangled in each other's cords. 
• I have never been put on bed rest...just stay off your feet and rest.
• There have been no problems with the girl's placentas...no previa no abruption.
• And we clearly have not had any intrauterine growth restrictions (these girls are huge!).

I don't post any of this to brag. I have not one single solitary thing to brag about because every bit of this has been out of my control and in God's hands! My doctor even said it (weeks ago in an opposite way)...reminding me that if they came early that it was nothing I could prevent. Therefore, there is nothing that I have done or could have done to keep them where they are this long either, but I am still so thankful!!!! I can't explain why some women experience these complications and others do not. The only thing I know is that we have been incredibly blessed: blessed to avoid these complications, blessed that the twins were not harmed during my surgery as far as we know, and blessed to be alive! 

I am blessed beyond words to have the opportunity to be uncomfortable, to ache, to deal with indigestion/heartburn for this long and to still be carrying these girls! But I'm committed to not sugar coat things on here. It's not been all easy and perfect. It has been really hard at times! Here are just a few of the cold, hard realities of the last few weeks of being pregnant with (not small) twin girls:

• I can just be sitting and get terribly dizzy.
• I often times can't lay down because of severe reflux but can't sleep sitting up. If I lean back too far, someone inevitably sits on my interior vena cava, causing my brain to think my blood pressure is low thus immediately trying to make it jump higher resulting in red hot ears and a crazy blood pressure! (this also happens sometimes when I have a contraction)
• The middle of my right back hurts almost all the time. I'm carrying 75% of the babies on the right side (Baby A's head/torso and Baby B's torso/legs). It's hit a new level this week.
• Baby B loves to dig herself into my right bottom rib. 
• Baby A's bottom continues to reside in my pelvis, causing me to take even more frequent trips to the potty. 
• Someone is also sitting on a nerve that runs down my entire leg. It gets old really quickly when your entire leg just aches!
• My hips feel like they are one step away from dislocating. I've quit walking around with anything but tennis shoes on!
• Water causes indigestion/reflux. How weird is that! So does peanut butter and peanut m&m's! Sad!
• I am down to maybe 3 shirts that actually fit me. I am borrowing 4 people's maternity clothes too! None of my tank tops fit me. They gradually ride up until they sit right above my belly, basically defeating the purpose of wearing them! I much prefer athletic pants over any other pants. I'm tired of those 3 shirts.
• My arms are almost not long enough to allow me to do things without rubbing my belly up against something: washing my hands, getting clothes out of the washer, reaching over the stove. Annoying because I hate it when my belly rubs up against things. It hurts where my scar is!
• Everyone wants to touch my belly now because it is so big; and while it used to not bother me when my closest friends would (in fact, I loved grabbing their hands to feel one of the girls kick), now I literally back away from people or put my hand up. My belly hurts because it's stretching so much daily...on top of stretching a still healing incision!  
• The other half of the people I run across who don't want to touch my belly, stare at it with a scowl on their faces. Maybe it's just an intense glare. Who knows, but my mom even noticed it the other day! It's funny to watch them stare and then have them realize I'm watching them! I just smile when their eyes finally pull away from my belly! ;)
• My right ring finger is so swollen that I had to pry my ring off using soap for fear that it would have to be cut off later! It makes no sense why only one finger is swollen...but at least it's not my whole hand or whole body!
• My scar has grown from 7 inches to well over 10 inches. Parts of it burns when its touched and other parts of it are numb. 
• And although most common in the 2nd trimester, I have severe ligament pains that sent us to L & D Sunday night to be monitored. When I told the on-call OB the sizes of the girls at the last ultrasound, he said he was shocked I hadn't been in earlier! 

...and those are a few of the realities of the last few weeks of being pregnant with twin girls!

Please join us as we continue to pray for a complication-free birth of our girls. Sure, I don't want to have surgery again. I vividly remember waking up from the other surgery in so much pain that all I could do was point at my stomach. But I had lost almost a liter of blood and been given 4 units of donated blood. My body had been in shock for hours. My blood pressure had been so low that my muscles ached from shivering. And this time it's planned. It's more controlled. It's a smaller incision. My body might be a little on the tired side, but nothing compared to the last time I had surgery. So I'm holding onto that. Sure. It's not going to be fun, but we will have two little blessings to hold soon!

...and I'm absolutely beyond words excited about that!!!

Psalm 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.