Limitations

I have a lot of people ask me how I'm feeling. That seems to be the question (which I really do appreciate). I'd much rather hear that than, "You look like you're going to pop any day now!" My response is usually, "Oh my. So much better! Nothing could compare to right after that surgery. I feel great! I'm trying to get everything prepared that I can!"

And in my head, I'm thinking, "but it's not going to last, so I'd better get whatever done that I need done and fast!" Well that time is drawing closer...I guess you could say it's here! 

I'm all too quickly realizing that I've got some serious limitations starting to creep in.

I spent the majority of yesterday trying to catch my breath. It hasn't been this bad since right after my surgery. I walked from the dryer to our bed carrying a not-so-heavy laundry basket and had to sit down because I couldn't breathe by the time I got back there. My arms tingle and my legs feel weak. My OB actually said yesterday that he was surprised it had taken this long to start. That is one blessing of being tall!

I have to sit up completely straight. If I'm back too far, I can't breathe. If I'm up to far, it cuts of the circulation in the top of my stomach. I start to feel those tinglies after only minutes.

With one baby, it usually either sits under your diaphragm or on your bladder, at least until close to the delivery. With two babies, they can do both at the same time..and they do.

My patience is waning. Period. Especially when people don't follow through with what they've said they'd do. Oh, and when my child just flat out refuses to listen.

I cannot lay down without taking two Zantac. If I don't, I wake up choking. Choking! I've done that two days in a row when I've tried to rest when Addie was napping.

And then there's that sciatic nerve. It's not constant (thankfully); but when that thing gets angry, there is no walking like a normal person. 

There's one specific spot in the middle right of my back that just aches. Sometimes there is no way that I can lay to make it stop. Left side. Right side. Extra pillow. Tummy on pillow. Legs bent. Legs straight. Nothing. That means sleepless parts of the night, some longer than others.

I'm tired. I'm just tired.

But...

The nursery is done. The clothes are hung. The furniture is placed. And the pictures are up. Addie's room is done. Big girl bed in place. New wooden kitchen moved in. Bookcase in order.

And I just pulled out all of her spring clothes, washed them and hung/folded them. Seriously.

Got another pot of spaghetti made and in the freezer. Stocked up on taco soup.

Went to T@rget today and now have her Easter basket done! 

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of things that might need to be done between now and the end of April.

I can't do laundry or dishes in advance. I can't pay (most of) the bills in advance. The house is mostly clean...it drives me crazy when it isn't. I'm caught up on laundry...until tomorrow.

So I'm smocking day gowns for the girls and Addie's Easter dress. Yes, I'm resting, sometimes too much I think!

There are times when I feel like these simple limitations are too much to handle. I've had several serious reality checks that we will be bringing home two...not one...but two infants to go along with our 2 year old! I feel sleep deprived now? Part of me remains ecstatic. The other part of me keeps asking how are we going to do this! Needless to say, we are all too aware at how challenging this will be. But on the same token, completely at peace with it!

After doing a follow up interview with our insurance company (we'll get a $100 gift card if I finish the program!), I realized that these are merely limitations and not complications. I don't have high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, or placenta previa. My hands, feet, and face aren't swollen (too much :). I haven't had contractions and my water hasn't broken. I'm not on bed rest or even partial bed rest! I've made it past 30 weeks and my OB thinks I'll make it much longer. And the one thing I always go back to...I'm not throwing up! Limitations, not complications!

I read a devotion yesterday about weakness...how we can often times view our weaknesses as liabilities. But in all reality, our weaknesses are part of God's perfect plan. When we acknowledge those weaknesses, we are basically saying that "...only God can accomplish anything good in or through us. His power is instantly recognizable in obvious weakness."

Weaknesses and limitations...not complications! And I am once again, so thankful!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  

2 Corinthians 12:9